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If you’re a teacher, have a seat. We need to have a heart-to-heart. First I want to tell you that I know how you feel. I know how unfair NCLB has been, and how much inconvenience it’s caused. I know you are under-paid, under-appreciated, and have lost virtually all control over your own profession.

But today, despite all that, I have good news. I have a way to make things good again. I have an idea that could serve as just retribution for the pain you’ve suffered.

You are probably already aware of the efforts by certain lawmakers to implement “merit-based pay.” One of the Illuminati to most recently suggest the idea was an author of NCLB himself, bless his heart. But just in case you haven’t heard, the idea goes something like this: teachers will be compensated based on class-room performance rather than years on the job, or academic qualification. Personally, I think the idea is great: it means all those special-ed teachers would be out of a job, and it could save some tax-dollars; although, I think to be consistent (and to satisfy your just revenge) we need to take this one step further.

I wish to present my idea as “Approval-Based pay.” I propose that all publicly elected officials receive compensation commensurate with their approval rating. Let’s crunch some numbers to see how this would work out: Ordinarily members of the Senate receive annual compensation (not including bribes) of approximately $160,000. With the current approval rating of about 25%, the annual salary would drop to a modest $40,000. This brings it just about in line with what senators made forty years ago; or in more familiar terms, with what all of you make right now. Sound good?

http://www.senate.gov/artandhistory/history/common/briefing/senate_salaries.htm